The relationship with ourselves, friends & family

St Valentine’s Day may be mostly all about romance and that special relationship between lovers, but it can also be a time to focus upon the health of our relationships in general: with our friends, family members, co-workers and of critical importance, the relationship with ourselves. What can we do to maintain and improve these bonds?

  1. First, we need a healthy relationship with ourselves; otherwise we will bring that damaged relationship into the encounters we have with others. Developing a deep connection with ourselves enables us to see how our feelings govern our behaviour, helping us to communicate effectively.
  2. Be there for others. When people offload, they are often more concerned about having someone to listen to them than about finding solutions. Give the gift of time.
  3. Don’t assume you are being criticised. It is often natural to react defensively when people point out our shortcomings. Listen carefully to the words used before working out the intent behind them.
  4. It is better to engage in frequent, open communication than to bottle our feelings up. Try to be kind in the things you say.
  5. Don’t be too proud to apologise. Saying sorry is a mark of integrity and strength.
  6. Find time to do things that you all enjoy, and talk about your experiences afterwards. Life can become too serious sometimes; our relationship with ourselves should include some fun!
  7. Put yourself in the other’s shoes. It is all too easy to see things from our point of view; what is life like for them?
  8. Be forgiving. This doesn’t mean you agree with the other’s behaviour, just that you accept that they are not perfect and love them anyway.

Do you need help with any of this? I am here to help you when you decide you want to do it differently. I offer a confidential and active space to work on a ‘different way’. Contact me by clicking here or via the dropdown menu.

Image copyright: martm / 123RF Stock Photo

hearts symbolising our relationship with ourselves and others