We all become annoyed with other people at times, but in a healthy relationship the downs are quickly resolved with no lingering ill-feeling or resentment.
But it can be difficult to always be open about our feelings. And unfortunately, whether we’re talking about our primary relationship or the relationship we have with family members, friends or even work colleagues, a bi-product of holding back is the gradual build-up of resentment. This can affect any one of us but is a particular problem for those who are ‘people-pleasers’ and/or prefer to avoid conflict at all costs.
But there is a cost. Like a deadly poison, ignored hurt and anger will gradually build up until you either explode, break down or lose your ability to feel at all – becoming numb. This will then inevitably spill over into all of your relationships and eat away at your self-esteem.
Resentment also makes it impossible to give and receive love and you might start feeling that you no longer love those who you are resentful of; this is not necessarily the case at all.
Is resentment poisoning your relationship?
If the above sounds like you, then you need to get suitably qualified help. I can’t emphasise enough the need to work with a counsellor/therapist who is specifically trained in relationship counselling.
I am relationship trained and you can attend therapy either as a couple, a family or even alone – at least to begin with. I am now working from practise rooms in London, Miami, Exeter and Torbay and even offer remote Skype Therapy if preferred.
The sooner you are able to process your resentments in a safe, non-judgmental environment, the sooner you can move on to recovering the relationship you thought you had lost – or moving on safely, if that is required.
One thing is certain: unresolved resentment will prolong your heartache and slowly kill your relationship.
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