REVIEWS
Michael is truly humbled to have received reviews from those who have found his books, media interviews, articles, and presentations inspiring and helpful. Michael’s calling in life, which is to help as many people as possible, has been greatly assisted through engaging with the media. This is his way of casting his net wider, and it has exceeded his wildest expectations of helping people en masse. Everyone who has publicly acknowledged their experience of Michael, is truly helping people find genuine guidance and resolution to the issues they are faced with.If you purchase one of Michael’s books, please write a review on Amazon. This will help ensure his books reach more of the people who need them most. Thank you
BOOK REVIEWS/CLIENT FEEDBACK
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Michael makes a lot of sense re narcissistic relationships – in so many aspects. I have been recommending his new book, Learning How To Leave, to many of my clients, especially where children are involved.
Learning How To Leave is one of the best books I’ve read on both recognising the signs of a narcissistic, controlling relationship and how to have the strength and the skills to leave it.“
Parenting Book Reviews
“Really easy to read and understand – hence very easy to access and use. I love the practicality of the chapters that have bulleted lists of things to do…a busy and harassed parent has a quick go-to guide. This is a brilliant approach.”
Parenting Book Reviews
“I’ve had the honor to work with parents for over 30 years in my clinical practice and I’m always on the lookout for an excellent and ACTIONABLE book to refer to them. Raw Facts from Real Parents is at the top of my list of referrals because it provides both information and strategies that can be implemented immediately. Parents who read this book will feel empowered to guide their children with a toolbox filled with strategies that actually work! The chapters are concise and targeted to the many nuanced parenting challenges that we all face. It’s a must read!!”
Relationship Book Reviews
Wise & Compassionate Help for Navigating Relationship Break-Ups
Dr. Michael Acton has written a most needed book on “Weathering Relationships” be that “Making Up or Moving On.” This engaging read on a difficult topic provides understanding, support, strategies and skills, as well as an abundance of resources. The topics are many and include foremost being honest with one’s self about the relationship, being able to resist “hooks” that pull one back into an unhealthy relationship, warning signs of being in a relationship with a narcissist, as well as suicide prevention guidance, and specific help for those experiencing domestic violence. I see Dr. Acton’s book as a lifeline for those in relationship distress that can most definitely help them find their way out of the storm and into a better life that is safe, nurturing, and offers fulfillment on so many levels. I came to know of Dr. Acton through his Mental Health Academy presentation. I reached out to him because I was very impressed by his talk. I was also a presenter with the Mental Health Academy on the topic of Creativity & Suicide Prevention. Dr. Acton invited me to contribute to his chapter on suicide prevention. I am honored to be a part of this important book that can help so many.
Relationship Book Reviews
Get “UNSTUCK”. Stop the cycle.
Sometimes life can get messy. At 54, I often wonder how I can be a highly educated and successful entrepreneur, yet not manage that same assertiveness and order in my relationships. I’ve read all of Michael’s books and “Weathering Relationships” has helped me understand why I should apply the skills and boundaries which have helped me grow and succeed in my professional career to my personal life. Moreover, the book provides valuable tips in identifying that “AHA” moment, where trauma began, much earlier in life. Michael not only guides you in navigating relationships, but in setting healthy boundaries, too, something I’ve failed to do my entire life. The suggestions and recommendations offered have empowered and emboldened me to get “unstuck”, acknowledge my truth, take ownership, and improve my communication skills so I may be at peace, and move forward. Consider this piece as a valuable resource and tool to achieving the best “you”, as it is currently doing so for me.
Relationship Book Reviews
Resilience can be found.
This wisdom is backed up with experience. Will help with whatever kind of heavy weather and Acts of God one may encounter.
Relationship Book Reviews
Very useful resource – makes you think!
I’ve read all of Dr Acton’s books and this one is another very useful resource – even, if – like me – you’re widowed and not currently in a relationship!
I read through the book and did all the exercises, and I learned a lot about myself. I reflected on my husband and our relationship. What went wrong, and how I’m going to avoid past mistakes, how to forgive, and much more.
It has helped me in my process of healing and moving on, and has clarified some aspects of my grieving. Thank you, Dr. Acton!
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
This comprehensive guide aids those with codependency to someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It explains the formation of these disorders and the toxic relationship, consequences (potentially fatal) through case studies from the authors experiences and other professional realms, and how to detach and heal. It was an excellent read, and highly recommend this to anyone who suspects they or someone they care about is ensnared in a narcissistic relationship.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
This book is an excellent, concise breakdown of the narcissistic/co-dependent relationship. It is written in terms that most can understand & relate to. I think it is a great read for anyone who is seeking a reference for a loved one in their life or to examine their own personal experience. It is a guide for understanding these disorders, but also a good introduction to how an experienced & compassionate therapist/counselor will interact with their patient(s).
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
Decades of experience working with narcissists and co-dependents are packed into this book. I can’t wait to read more from psychological therapist Michael Padraig Acton. His writing is accessible, engaging and draws you in for page one.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I have recently read Dr Acton’s book titled ‘Narcissisim and Codependency’ and have only one thing to say – EVERYONE should read it, regardless of their situation in life. The text is clearly written in straightforward language thereby making it easy to understand. Having experienced incredible Narcissism in my own life and family, reading this book confirmed many of the opinions I struggled for years to form, never sure of whether or not I was correct. The knowledge Dr Acton shares, chapter after chapter, explains everything one needs to know on the subject. Living with narcissists can leave one with many questions regarding oneself, and all one’s efforts tend to be unfairly judged, leaving scars and sensitivities for life. The worst part of it is that many people have no idea that they are living with narcissists because it is taken for granted that their behavior is normal. It takes an enormous amount of courage to face the facts and even more to break away. However, once that has been done, life becomes positive again.
The greatest advantages of studying Dr Acton’s writings are the incredible sense of relief to realize that you are free of the negativity and pressure which is inevitable in dealing with narcissistic people. It also encourages one to act, however difficult that may be and to achieve a sense of freedom and be rid of the guilt which has been imposed unfairly on you. I have highly recommended this book to several people all of whom feel they have benefitted from learning more on this sensitive subject.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
Written by a sincere therapist who has been in the trenches. I’ve read a lot about narcissism and bought this not because I’m leaving anyone, but because the approach was different, and it turned out I learned more about narcissism (and co-responders) than I ever have from longer, more erudite books. Highly recommend it to anyone wanting a feet on the ground understanding of one of our fastest growing problems.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
Not only explains the characteristics of narcissistic personality, but great ideas to help escape victim the entrapment that can often be a direct result of this behaviour.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
This book is absolutely packed full of information and written in a very accessible style… The writing style is engaging and easy to understand. The author uses real examples drawn from 3 decades as a therapist as well as from his own life. This makes the concepts easier to understand and gives the advice a true authenticity. I was horrified when during lockdown news reports came out that between April and June 2020, there was a 65% increase in calls to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, when compared to the first three months of that year. If those victims had access to this handbook it would have made their situation so much easier to deal with.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
This is the most incredible book for anyone (and that’s most of us, let’s face it!) who have been stuck in a relationship well past its sell by date. While narcissism may seem to be the latest buzzword in society, the horrible truth is that a narcissist will NEVER change, it’s down to you, the person in the relationship with them, who needs to change. And the only thing to do is learn how to leave. Whether that’s a ‘romantic’ relationship, someone in your family, a friend or a boss, it is imperative to learn how to recognise a toxic relationship and then leave safely. Michael is so professional while at the same time being caring, empathetic and realistic. He’s worked with so many people over the past 30 years and helped many get out of a toxic relationship safely. This really is a life-changing book on so many levels. I hugely recommend it.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
I loved this book on Narcissistic & Toxic Relationships, with guidance on how to remove yourself from them.
Written in a very personable way, with extracts from Michael’s own experiences, and his client experiences, I actually found myself looking at my past and existing relationships with people!
One of my favourite parts was the Author’s top advice for narcissists & co-dependents to ‘learn acceptance’ as a route to gaining personal freedom and joy.
If a person can ‘become accepting of your ‘shortcomings’ and of situations that arise, you can take responsibility for them…as a guide to how to respond’.
Definitely one I would read again, I felt a real connection with this book x
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
I am about halfway through this book and I can’t put it down. I find it an absolute fascinating read, and some elements are very relatable. Written in a style of case studies, you can relate to the situations and the behaviours of the narcissist and co-dependant.
A must-read for anyone in a toxic relationship.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
Parenting Book Reviews
Dr. Acton has collected so much helpful information and written this book in a readable way for anyone to understand.
Parenting is hard enough. You don’t need to feel guilt or shame or feel like you need a degree to read this one, as Michael’s book is easy for any of us to relate to.
It is not something you can read all in one sitting.
You need to take bite-size pieces at a time and really absorb what he is teaching.
Parenting Book Reviews
This book shows how real parents can deal with issues that are raised with children from toddlers up to adults. It talks about ways to learn and expand your knowledge without feeling guilty about your own decisions and without criticism and judgment. It’s real life challenges explained in a way to learn and gain positivity and minimize your stress as a parent.
Parenting Book Reviews
This book Is very comprehensive and easy-to-read. As parents of two children, having access to a fantastic parenting manual from a legal and experienced perspective helps provide practical options and solutions for everyday life. It’s a great read and very beneficial to any parent!! Well done!
Presentation Feedback
“Thank you very much. I actually just got your book, ‘Raw Facts…’ on Audible.”
Presentation Feedback
“Thank you so much for today’s session! And I’m happy to hear that the book’s available in Audible!”
Parenting Book Reviews
I absolutely love this book and would recommend it to all parents. It’s full of advice on guiding our offspring. The book lists all of the issues you are likely to come across as a parent. It offers practical advice looking at things from the parent and child’s perspective.
Step-by-step, the book covers parenting from the cradle all the way through to adulthood. The book is super simple to pick up and quickly find a particular subject. My partner has also been spotted reading it, and I don’t often see him reading. A super read that I would totally recommend.
Parenting Book Reviews
I felt that this book has been written with so much information in every area of a child and parents lives, questions that need to be answered yet in a complete simplistic way. It has many chapters which are short and easy to read and in my opinion, will help many many parents out there who may be struggling with many or just a few areas in their lives. The book is easy to understand and will help so many people out there struggling with not just bringing up children in this day and age, but will help with those who may be working with children and families giving strategies to those who may need them.
Well worth the money and I look forward to reading many more. Thank you for giving people the opportunity to be able to try to understand different ways on how to help their relationships with their children.
“This book provides practical advice for a wide range of parenting situations. All parents can benefit from the ideas presented. Each chapter is a few pages packed full of great information keeping the reader’s attention. Furthermore, the topics covered truly do touch upon new challenges that parents face with emerging technologies, social media, cyber security, etc. If there is a topic that you would like to go deeper into, the author provides suggestions for other information sources at the end of each chapter.”
Parenting Book Reviews
“Parenting is hard for everyone. It is broken into chapters that make it simple to search out your specific concerns. Helps give and put issues in perspective. Fantastic variety of subjects from eating issues to dealing with technology. You can tell Michael cares and has done immense research that makes this book worth reading.”
Parenting Book Reviews
“I must admit when someone says a book is easy to read, you normally find it difficult to understand somewhere along the line. I have read this book, which is written in short chapters, which are about all situations that happen in children’s and young adults’ lives and how the parent can process their thoughts and feelings on how to get their child through these difficult times. It isn’t about a parent ‘giving in’ to a child or young adult, but by being a parent, taking control and keeping a respectful relationship, ensuring a happy upbringing. The book is an excellent read, and easy to find sections to go back should you need to check up on certain areas. It’s a must-read for parents who are finding some modern day situations difficult to deal with and need advice. It’s all in this book at a drop of a hat! Oh, and a good reference book if working with families! Well written Michael. Thank you.”
Parenting Book Reviews
“Parents, grandparents and anyone in that role will find the information contained within your book helpful and informative. The layout is especially conducive to finding answers or potential suggestions for moderating behavioral issues that one needs to address in the process of raising children, regardless of age.”
Parenting Book Reviews
“Useful for anyone who is a parent, carer or health care professional. Basically if you have children in your life and you’ve asked yourself, ‘How am I going to address this/cope?’, this book will assist you by making you rethink your approach. It’s excellent.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I am listening to your audio book and it is helping me to try and make sense of what has been happening in my life and marriage and the reality that it won’t change without me leaving. I am really struggling, but am hoping to find the strength to leave… Thank you for writing the book”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
This is a very insightful book. Will help you to understand and put into context you relationship. If you’re having issues in your relationship and feel abused and have a sense that something is wrong but can’t figure it out this book could be helpful. It can also help you to find healing and seek the support that is needed.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Finished your book, Learning How to Leave. It was fantastic! You put it all together so perfectly, and the case studies you shared really back it up! I will recommend it to others.”
Learning How To Leave Book Reviews
“This book explained the illusion I have been living in for the past 16 years. It has also armed me with the knowledge of how to deal with my narcissistic ex husband as he has contact with our son. It has helped me explain to my son why his dad is the way he is. It has opened my eyes. Worth every penny! Thank you to the author for writing this book.”
Learning How To Leave Book Reviews
“You find yourself in a relationship and can’t understand where it has gone wrong. Now you want out but don’t know how. This book illustrates why it’s so hard to leave. It clearly explains the relationship between the narcissist and the co dependant. Clearly written with case studies and examples in easy language this is a must read for those wanting clarity about their situation.”
Learning How To Leave Book Reviews
“Your book Learning how to Leave brought me to tears. Not that it made me suddenly realize I was in a NPD / Co-dependant relationship (because I figured this out last year after 20 years of suffering in desperate hope in a sexless marriage) but because I could be every chapter, every page and every word of it. The despair, the loss of self, the total lack of empathy of my wife’s part and her quasi-magical powers that bring me to my knees with a simple look… it’s all in your book . Bravo on behalf of all silently being killed husbands out there.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I wanted to thank you for writing Learning How to Leave. It is a very powerful mind opening book.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Learning How to Leave is a powerful and thought-provoking read… It’s a book that is easy to understand and extremely helpful. It empowers codependents – and those who care for them – to understand and identify why and how they need to step away from toxic narcissistic relationships, and most importantly how to heal.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“A great practical guide talking about toxic relationships and the basic nature of them. The book starts with explaining what toxic behaviors are how we might not see it because of being habitual of being treated in a certain way.
The best part, I think, about the book is that it talks about not just romantic relations but also friendships and family relations, giving us more examples to understand behavior and what author is trying to explain within those terms.
Also, it works on multiple angles of the same scenario where it does not focus just on host but also the person who is creating toxicity in the relation.
The language used is easier to understand for someone who reads non-fiction time to time, but beginners can find it difficult to understand the language in some parts. Talking about cover and overall design, loved the cover and quality.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“When readers can’t imagine a book can be like this, the talented authors on the other side are out with the most exceptional book in front of the readers. I never expected the book to be like that.
When for the first time I came across this book, I thought that it will be based on how to achieve more or get more success and the main mantras behind them. But after giving a thorough research through the entire book, I understood this I something very different and magnificent.
Let’s dive into the book directly. Author talks about ways which will help us to learn how to leave and help our soul to step away from all kinds of narcissist and toxic relationships we come across.
Many of us face this type of situation but don’t know how to combat or leave them by just not taking the burden over us. Author of this book is filled with many qualifications which really helped this book to shine with appropriate usages of the contents which are very much authentic.
The book is a guide to identify toxic and narcissist relationships and eventually learn how to heal oneself from them and get away quickly. The book is divided into three parts consisting of 13 chapters. Under the 10 codependency buzzwords, the most favorite of mine is Enabler: An enabler, is one who helps another to continue destructive behaviors according to psychological context.
I really loved the initiative taken by the author to uplift such important issues and helping several to understand their worth rather than serving others’ problems throughout their lives.
Highly recommended.” Rating 5/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“A practical guide to stepping away from narcissistic and toxic behaviour, brimming with definitions and examples to help the abused regain enough power to step away.“
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Learning How To Leave is a book with a wealth full of information, knowledge and advice. This is not just a book about the abuser but about and for the victim too.
Being a victim of a narcissist in the past, I completely resonated with so much of this book! I wish I’d had a book like this back then!
This book is really easy to understand and process and doesn’t feel overwhelming with the amount of advice and support it gives. This book is a must read for everyone, whether they’ve been a victim, know a victim or are educating themselves.
This type of abuse can happen to anyone and knowing the signs and traits of a narcissist and much of the information within this book – it could help you or a loved one one day to avoid becoming a victim or to ‘get out’.
Please read this, educate yourself and help yourself and others.” Rating 5/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“There is a lot of information in this book, but unlike some others it is easy to read and very clear. The information doesn’t just focus on the victim either. It was good to see an insight from both angles.
A book I will re-read and encourage others to read, because I think it’s important.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“A Practical Guide to Narcissistic and Toxic Relationships
Why I feel we all must read this book:
✔️To identify the narcissistic relationships we are in and how to deal with it.
✔️To identify the earliest signs or realise how we have been hooked in such toxic relationships.
✔️Written from practical viewpoint and experiences from a medical practitioner of more than three decades.
✔️Reliable information and references.
✔️Realistic scenarios with real life examples.
✔️Ultimately the process of coming out of such circumstances.
Sadly, most of us/the victims do not even realise they are in such a situation until it gets too worse and they feel totally helpless.
But I do feel these scenarios are not something we are not familiar about.
The guidebook is written in such a way that even beginners will find it accessible and easy to understand.
Less of medical or scientific terms have been used and the few terms which have been used are explained in simple terms beforehand.
A book for everyone. A book in need. A book which will actually help someone under such circumstances.
I do highly recommend it.” Rating 5/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“This book has helped me finally learn I was never the problem and it is the abuser’s fault, not yours. It’s been very healing for me personally, and I think it would offer so much help to others.“
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“An informative book that is presented well and written for optimum understanding.
This book provides a wealth of information on narcissistic, toxic relationships and codependency. Not only does Learning How to Leave inform the reader of what a narcissist and a codependent are, it explains, with examples, the strategies used by the narcissist to gain control and instill fear, ultimately making the decision for a codependent to leave an extremely difficult one. This practical guide is also a reference to what a person can do if they find themself in a relationship with a narcissistic or toxic person and how to heal once they leave.
There are clearly written anecdotes of narcissistic, toxic and codependent behaviours from the people that Michael has worked with during his thirty year career as a counsellor, psychological therapist and consultant (and more).The anecdotes provide a real-world perspective. Michael also provides additional information and suggested reading at the end of each section should you wish to do more research.
My purpose for reading this book was to gain more information. A form of self-reflection and healing I suppose. Learning How to Leave was the perfect book to examine previous relationships at a deeper level and come to terms with the fact that I, indeed, was in toxic and narcissistic relationships. Yes, that is a plural. And not just romantic ones. If you don’t know the behaviour, you don’t know what you’re dealing with and some behaviours can seem normal, or confusing, or even flattering. Although I have no doubt now these relationships were toxic, and I am relieved that I am no longer in them. This book provided a certain amount of comfort: it really wasn’t my imagination or just me. Maybe a bit codependent, but I am not crazy!
To continue my healing journey, I also wanted to understand how toxic behaviours damaged my self-esteem and basically destroyed my health. Learning about toxic codependent behaviours, educating myself and alleviating any concerns I have will make moving forward with healthy relationships easier. At this point and time, healing and enjoying healthy relationships is extremely important to me. Currently, I believe I need to conduct more research and self-reflection (healing) before I can entertain notions of a romantic relationship. I am okay with this. Toxic relationships can make the strongest of people fragile and/or broken.
Thankfully Michael’s book has provided a starting point and suggestions to continue my journey.I look forward to the next book.“
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I don’t usually read non-fiction. I prefer something a little bit far from reality to disconnect and keep my mind ‘safe’ from the reality check, with the problems and deceptions. But this book intrigued me, a book to help me ‘see’ the toxic and difficult relations and leave them; easier said than done!
But this book is a guide, a way to show us how to ‘leave’, see and identify the narcissistic and toxic relations; with real situations, and little clues to identify them, it will make our life easy and to sleep at night. Because when we are in this type of relation, it drains us; feeling insecure, unable to sleep at night and doubting anything we say or do. How many times have you felt this way in the presence of a friend, family or work colleague? It’s time to take a step further and leave. That’s the mission of this book: to give the strength and courage to say, “Enough, you are not good for me and I am leaving you.”
With interesting stories, reads and quotes, this book will help you, but only if you are ready to take the next step. This is not a miracle, the difficult step will be yours, but remember that you are not alone. This is an amazing book that highlights the ‘Power Of You’. Ready?” Rating 4/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“A clear and easy read about the narcissist-codependent relationship and how to ease yourself out.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“LearningHowToLeave is a guide to stepping away from toxic and narcissistic relationships. Written in understandable/relatable language for academics, practitioners/counsellors and lay people alike, this a comprehensive guide to identifying and tackling toxic, narcissistic relationships and is particularly aimed at codependents living or working with/alongside a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
This revealing, easy-to-read book clearly, gradually unravels the unhealthy/dangerous dance that occurs between the narcissist and codependent. We all think that we know what a narcissist ‘looks like’ from the TV/media, but do we really? Aren’t we are all narcissists sometimes?Narcissistic behaviour is in all of us: a useful defence system when ill, focusing on exams, etc, and we need the attention to be on us. But true narcissists thrive on isolating their codependent/victim, leading to various forms of abuse: emotional, sexual, physical, financial…often leading to codependents being intimated, undermined and much, much worse. Using current real-life cases/scenarios, easy-to-understand models/definitions, further reading/research, we are introduced to the world/thinking of a narcissist and the reasons why these extreme and disruptive behaviours occur and continue.
You can’t ‘fix’ a narcissist and the primary aim of this book is to support codependents in acknowledging and accepting this fact. This realisation is in direct conflict with most codependents’ view of their role in a narcissistic relationship, mainly, that they can change things/people for the better and make things ‘right’. The sad reality is, most codependents need to step away and unhook themselves from the narcissistic relationship that they find themselves in, permanently.
Lesley Wilkinson
What was most shocking for me, as a reader, was the revelation that I had experienced being in a coercive relationship myself several times over the years, especially in the workplace. Narcissists are not just husbands/wives/partners, but family members, co-workers and managers. It’s estimated that 10% of the population have NPD, with men making up most of the cases, but NPD is not exclusive to a specific gender, to heterosexual relationships, etc or a particular type of workforce. And this is why you should READ THIS BOOK! It’s only by understanding the systemic work/logic and seeing the ‘bigger picture’ of how a person with NPD sees their relationship with you/others, that we can all learn how to leave, move forward and heal, both in our personal relationships and at work.
LearningHowToLeave will be a great resource for individuals, charities, groups, counsellors and practitioners and is based on Michael’s 30 plus years of clinical experience as a consultant, counsellor, life coach and author. It’s also an honest account of Michael’s own experience of being a codependent in narcissistic relationships. The book is not only written with professional/academic knowledge but with empathy and compassion for all codependents caught in the spider’s web of a narcissist.
I highly recommend this book. I sincerely hope that this review does justice to the important and practical issues tackled in Learning How To Leave. If my own terminology comes across as clumsy, please don’t take my word for it – buy the book and read it for yourselves. Better still, buy several copies and give them to friends, workers and loved ones. I know I will. We will never change a ‘true’ narcissist by buying the book, but we may change – or even save the life of – a codependent ensnared in a toxic, narcissistic relationship.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I don’t know where to start with this book! I’m blown away by how amazing it is! It has me thinking about it when I’m not reading it. It has me finding spare time that I don’t have during the day to read a chapter. It has me sharing little snippets on Instagram stories almost daily, and it also has me recalling memories that I thought were long since buried from a life that is long since dead.
Learning How to Leave is the first in a set of ‘Power of You’ books and is written in a style that is a practical guide to stepping away from narcissistic and toxic relationships. The title of the book may cause issues if you are a codependant living in a toxic relationship. How do you find the space and time to read this away from someone who is controlling or toxic? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, but if you are gifted this book, there is a reason, so please find that quiet, private spot and learn how to leave.
This book is the book to help and guide those who may not know or are not quite sure if they are in a toxic relationship. I say this from the position of someone who was in a toxic relationship. Michael has written this book in a new style to me. He has drawn on his clients’ situations that make the understanding of the relationships between a narcissist and codependant so much clearer. What is more, it’s not just partners this book relates to! There are narcissists in all walks of life from family members, to partners, to colleagues at work and Michael tackles all these situations.
I relate this book right now to a work situation, but mainly to a relationship that I tend to block out of my mind and just refer to it as my “prior life.” I am lucky. My bestie could see how toxic my relationship was and she very slowly made me aware of my partner’s behaviour and my attitude. 10 years it took me. I lost my home, my credit score went to shot and so did my self-esteem. Obviously, I take responsibility for my part in all that, but I’m also a lot more aware and stronger now. Don’t take 10 years to leave! Get this book now and read up on the case studies, on the signs and on how to leave.
There is so much to this book. My short review will never do it complete justice. You don’t need to be in a toxic relationship to own this book. Maybe you, like my bestie, know someone who is? Get this book to help you to help them.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“When I was asked to review this book I didn’t fully know what to expect. But this book is just wow. It really has touched me personally in many ways and makes so many unexplained feelings, episodes or situations you have been in in your life suddenly make sense.
I completed this book in one day. It is written like you’re having a conversation with a friend. It’s so simple to get.
This book is one that you would want a whole box of to gift people that would benefit from the advice within it.
The main focus of the book is looking at a romantic relationship setting, but there is a section within looking at business relationships also. But all the advice in here can be used in any relationship setting from siblings to parents and friends.
This is one I will be referring back to on a regular basis.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I loved this book on Narcissistic & Toxic Relationships, with guidance on how to remove yourself from them, despite how challenging that may be.
Written in a very personable way, with extracts from Michael’s own experiences and his clients’ experiences, I actually found myself looking at my past and existing relationships with people!
Patterns and behaviour were a recurring theme in this book. It was interesting to spot familiar ones to me, on my life journey.
One of my favourite parts was the author’s top advice for narcissists & codependents to ‘learn acceptance’ as a route to gaining personal freedom and joy. If a person can ‘become accepting of your “shortcomings” and of situations that arise, you can take responsibility for them…as a guide to how to respond’.
Definitely one I would read again and refer to, I felt a real connection with this book.” x
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I am an abuse Survivor and also work as an advocate, so I have read many books on the subject; particularly on Narcissistic abuse, as my abuser had NPD. But this was one of the most informative books I have read on the topic.
There is so much information, but it is all explained so clearly. I love that it’s not just focused on the abuser but also on the victim as well. It felt like I was reading about my life and my thoughts and emotions when going through this.
I highly recommend this as compulsory reading to anyone, not just victims. I think the information within is very important for everyone to know so they can avoid finding themselves in a similar situation or maybe be more aware of why that person in your life won’t leave their abuser.” Rating 5/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“This book is absolutely packed full of information and written in a very accessible style. It’s helpfully divided into three parts: 1. Understanding narcissism and codependency, 2. Different perspectives outside of therapy and 3. Unhooking and recovering from a narcissist. Each part is divided into chapters and each chapter sub-divided into sections. This makes it very easy to find exactly what you’re looking for; although page numbers in the contents listing would make this even easier.
The writing style is engaging and easy to understand. The author uses real examples drawn from three decades as a therapist as well as from his own life. This makes the concepts easier to understand and gives the advice a true authenticity.
I was horrified when, during lockdown, news reports came out that between April and June 2020, there was a 65% increase in calls to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline when compared to the first three months of that year. If those victims had access to this handbook, it would have made their situation so much easier to deal with. The advice for how to leave and how to heal is empowering.
Narcissistic relationships don’t have to happen between romantic partners. They can occur in families, in friendship groups or at work. This book has me reflecting on past relationships, and I feel better informed to observe others’ behaviour and spot warning signs going forward.
A deeply researched, easy to understand guide to identify, understand, leave and heal from narcissistic relationships. Illustrated with real life examples, it has the potential to change, and even save, lives. A very timely and valuable book in the wake of increased incidences of domestic abuse resulting from lockdowns.” Rating 4/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Acton gave the psychology/self-help world a remarkable gift of empathy, understanding and direction in his book Learning How To Leave. The case studies, quotes and chapter themes provided a helpful backdrop upon which to better contrast normative behavior from NPD. I highly recommend this book to anyone who desires to grow in awareness concerning this all-too-common blind spot many people have of detecting narcissism. I plan to return to this book over and again for refreshers.
The quote from page 213 that I include below is perhaps the most profound paragraph I’ve read all year. Brene Brown should book a podcast with Dr. Michael Acton today! Two great minds.
The table of contents at the beginning of the book would have been improved with page numbers; also, there were a few minor punctuation issues.
Two favourite quotes:
“First, Robert was so afraid of being alone and unloved that he preferred to cling to the illusion of love and future happiness rather than examine the facts with his usual cold eye of logic.” (p. 121)
“Codependency can be partly understood as a disease of self-loathing. I see all the time in my work that by focusing all of their being on serving other people, codependents deny themselves the full light of awareness. They try to nourish themselves from the reflected light of other people’s appreciation and gratitude, but the presence of self-hate, lurking in the background, leads to a constant, gnawing self-doubt. They sometimes see their own self-disgust lurking behind the smiles of those they are attempting to please and they obsessively work harder to be a better partner, employee, child or parent.” (p. 213).” Rating 4/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“The author explained clearly what narcissism and codependency are. He has helped me understand the development of the dynamic between the two so much more. The lists of books for further reading are very helpful.” Rating 5/5.
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I read this book cover to cover as soon as it arrived. It was a real eye-opener and relevant to all kinds of relationships as it looks at dynamics rather than specific romantic relationships. In a world where, as the author rightly identifies, the word ‘narcissism’ and ‘narcissist’ are thrown around like confetti it is vital for us all to really understand the meaning of those terms (especially as the media like to use them for dramatizing) and be clear in our understanding of the behaviours behind these maladaptive behaviours.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I realise now that after 34 years of marriage I’m not the mad one; quite a revelation. The character John in your book is just like my husband. I want to scream, sob and rage at the injustice. Sadly I am trapped because he’s ill and although he doesn’t deserve my care, I feel obligated to look after him. I’m having therapy, told a couple of friends about my ordeal and am coping by having as little to do with him as possible. Your book has shone a light in my world of madness. Thank you“
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“You guys have got to get that book. That book has so many gems in it.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Highly recommend this book for people who feel like they relate to the book or simply for a deeper understanding. This book is a truly enlightening read. It very accurately explain the beviours, attitudes, consequences etc, of being both a narcissist and a codependent. In circumstances that seem completely inexplainable it helps explain and advise. So glad I got the chance to read this book.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Michael does a wonderful job of articulating the pain involved in this type of relationship within the limitation of words. It is concise and easily understood for lay people and even professionals who do not work with this population. I recommend it highly for managers, health professionals and those interested in psychological profiles. It is not a how-to book for counselors but rather a defining overview for understanding the dynamics. Well done!”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I have read about ten books on narcissism over the past couple of years. This is a rare gem. So many authors on the subject of narcissism are by ‘victims of narcissists’ who seem to be writing to ease their personal pain. This book is written by an expert in the field of psychology for both other professionals and people in relationships. It is only one of two books I have discovered that explain not just what a narcissist is and how to deal with them, but also why it is that certain people are drawn in and stay rather than running for their life.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“The case study that weaves its way through this complex and damaging life experience really helps understand how a codependent gets trapped. More importantly, how they need to unwrap from a narcissist is so helpful too. Helped me!!! Makes me feel less alone and mad with it.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I’ve almost finished the book and it is definitely one of the most on the ball and concise books I’ve read on the topic of narcissism and codependency – as we are often overlooked!! A compelling read, especially for someone who knows little about the subject. I’ve read the Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists and this is just as good but has a really human angle.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“We both see your book is awesome. I know this may seem not as unimportant but it truly is. We love the size of the paper book it’s not small. The print is a bit larger and darker so it’s much easier to read! Good call! If it’s print is too small and light it’s too frustrating to read. I can’t wait to read it next and trying to get it in the hands of those who need it.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“I found the book extremely insightful, and despite previous reservations I was able to follow as a lay person. The structure and cadence of information was not overwhelming and helped clarify many grey areas and increased my understanding of the topic and other areas exponentially. The glossary was also great, to see clearly defined, helpful and insightful definitions has been of immeasurable help. I’m genuinely thankful.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Have you experienced or are you experiencing domestic violence, an unhealthy relationship or relationship abuse? Do you think something is not quite right in your relationship with a colleague or a business partner? Or are you concerned for a loved one or a friend? Do you suspect that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) might be involved but you aren’t sure?
If so, you will find this book a revelation; it will clarify matters for you and it will show you a way forward. I came to the subject “unprepared” and found it very enlightening.
The author explains how the relationship between a Narcissist and their codependent works, what to look out for, behavioural patterns – and to guide readers out of an abusive relationship by giving them some basic practical steps they can take. This isn’t limited to personal relationships – the book explores Narcissism in the workplace, in business partnership and also has a chapter where you can read accounts of a business lawyer, a life coach, a medical doctor, a judge, an employee and a forensic accountant. All in all very enlightening!
The book is built around a central case study which typifies the narcissist – codependent relationship. This is a very useful tool because it creates a central story that connects all the parts of the book. There’s also another, very disturbing, stand-alone case study. What becomes very clear when you read these is that anyone can fall into a codependent relationship – rich or poor, no matter what educational or socio-economic background: no-one is safe if they are kind and don’t have firm boundaries. Due to embarrassment, fear and being unaware of what’s happening with them many people suffer in silence because they haven’t got the understanding of their situation and the tools to set themselves free.
The book encourages further research: every chapter is followed by an extensive reading list. At the back is a glossary of terms, which is very useful.
I normally read everything on my kindle but I would buy the print version of this because it’s easier to jump backwards and forwards. Altogether a very interesting read – not always easy if you’ve been caught up in a codependent relationship, but very, very helpful.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Narcissism & Codependency a book one must read.
I took my time to read this as there is so much information exploring the difficulties and different type of life experience issues. At first I found it hard to visualise how this could and has and still is happening in the human race today. It happens around us daily. As Michael has explained his experience and the challenges he had made to become a Councillor who has helped many who today are living a life away from all toxic issues and people living their lives for themselves as they want to. Congratulations on such a great book I admire and love you for it. You must be so proud of who you are today.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“Gives extraordinarily deep and highly practical insight to help the reader better understand narcissistic relationships providing the strength as well as clarity to walk away and reclaim freedom. Thank you Michael – the world is a better place for your writings.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“When I was encouraged to read this book i was not convinced it related to me and my situation and did not believe it would impact me in the slightest. Well, how wrong was I. Words cannot describe how much this book has made an impact on me. I will not go into my personal situation here but I will say I have been in therapy for a while and thought I understood my situation. And I did, for the most part. However this book has crystallised, reinforced and made sense of why I am the way I am and that I am not alone. In fact, the book is so accurate it could have been written for me. Everything Michael has said is spot on. I can’t tell you how much I have taken from this book. For the first time ever I can understand why I did what I did and how everything now makes sense. For the best part of my life I thought it was always all my fault and I was the “faulty” one. I would encourage anyone who feels they have even the slightest similarities with the subject matter to read it. I read it in a matter of days. This is the best thing I have done in my road to recovery. Thank you Michael.”
Book & Webinar Reviews
“I with a million others I’m sure, must thank you for your amazing insight. With your books and webinars you give name to emotions and experiences I could never even put words to before. Thank you.”
Consultancy/MPA Mind Reviews
“I also wanted to say a big thank you for all that you have done for me and my family over the past months. To be honest.. I dont think I would have made it if it wasnt for you. Things Im believe, would have ended up very differently.
It would also be safe to say, that you have changed my life and put it on a course that I can see a clear road ahead. There will no doubt be some bumps in the road.. but now I know how to ride them. There will be some up hills as well.. but I know that there is a down hill ride the other side.. which I know I can look forward too. Im making better decisions and seeing the good rather than the bad.
We will get through this tough time and I will take care of Charlie. We will no doubt speak in a couple of weeks.. .. but wanted you to have this note.”
Consultancy/MPA Mind Reviews
“The business would never have been possible…if you didnt help me through the most difficult time of my working career. A big thank you…for giving (me) the attitude and personal resources to build the business. At the beginning of this year, I didnt think I would be in positive state going into 2021. In short…you have made that possible.”
Consultancy/MPA Mind Reviews
“Your help over the last few years has been without question life changing. Without your guidance and help, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
Consultancy/MPA Mind Reviews
“Our work helps by providing me with someone who is not immediately involved with my life on the day-to-day basis — someone who can listen to what is on my mind and help me take a step back and look at things from a different/more well rounded perspective. Especially when a situation is distressing or frustrating I often find it is difficult to put my feelings into words, but Michael listens to what I am saying/feeling, which then better enables me to figure out the best way to move forward. Now that there are fewer fires to put out on a session to session basis – largely because we have developed strategies to deal with problems and/or identify/intervene before they become fires – we are able to focus on continuing to develop these management strategies and my ability to identify issues before they become emotionally unmanageable.”
Consultancy/MPA Mind Reviews
“I now have a space to voice my difficulties when challenges at home are putting me under tremendous stress.”
Consultancy/MPA Mind Reviews
“How has our work helped me?
Our work has helped me cope with my difficult family situation and accept my brother’s condition a bit more. It has given me a space to voice my difficulties when the challenges at home had put me under tremendous stress. You helped me find ways to be important alongside my family as I had forgotten who I was and that I mattered. I see that I matter now and I am working on how I can do things differently in order to care for myself and achieve my goals.”
Narcissism & Codependency Book Reviews
“The word ‘narcissist’ gets thrown around a lot these days; it’s a term applied frequently when someone has had an unsuccessful relationship encounter with another. Maybe that person was self-centred, commitment-phobic or just treated someone unkindly. All of these things are unpleasant behaviours, but do not necessarily indicate that the perpetrator is a narcissist.
When you truly experience a narcissist, it is a whole different ball-game than just your bog-standard arsehole. The insidious nature with which they take root in your soul is like living with a personal case of Japanese Knotweed; it tears you down from the inside and undermines your very foundations, leaving long-lasting damage in its wake. That’s not to say you cannot recover from a narcissistic relationship – you can – but it will, without exception, leave an indelible mark.
Before I read Michael’s book, I was fortunate enough to meet and work with him when I was recommended for a panel discussion he was hosting on World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day in 2021. I’d published my memoir, All The T***s I Met Along The Way, several months earlier, which detailed – amongst other stories from my life – my own experience of a narcissist from three years prior. As it happened, I had come out of my second narcissistic relationship only a matter of days before we first spoke.
When you’ve experienced abuse of any kind, being believed is of utmost importance. When you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, the gaslighting that is inflicted upon you is designed to make you doubt your own sanity and question your logic, so it’s hard to even believe yourself.
Talking to Michael was like having someone give my tortured soul a hug. For those not lucky enough to access him directly, that’s what Michael’s book, Learning How to Leave (part of his ‘Power of You’ series) does. It holds your hand as it walks you through the precarious, scary and lonely path of coming to terms with the fact you have a narcissist in your life – whether a partner, parent, child, colleague – and then taking the necessary steps to extract yourself from their clutches. That’s because, as Michael so eloquently explains, there really is only one way to handle a narcissist and that is: you don’t. Disengagement is your only option.
Michael writes as he speaks, with candour and compassion, striking perfectly that careful balance between challenge and support. He creates understanding of your situation and from that place of knowledge he helps build strategies to cope and courage to enact change.
Learning How To Leave should be a must-read for so many. It is essential for the support of those who are victims of a narcissist, but should be the reference text for medical professionals, psychiatrists and psychologists, for teachers, Human Resources professionals, caregivers – anyone who’s lives and professional roles involves the need to understand people, their behaviours and when someone may be at risk of harm.“